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We were on the beach at Sanibel Island, Florida over Christmas Break, December 2010. Cali was playing on the beach and bent over and Brian noticed her hip. If you look at it, the left waistline goes in more than the right. 
Cali would have to wear a night time brace. As you can see, she was not happy. She named her brace, "Sheila".
Although it is not super noticeable, her curve did continue to progress. At her appointment in July, the curve had gone to 48 degrees. At this point we were told that if it got to 55, we would be facing surgery.
Even though some may think she is just posing with a little sass for her Christmas dance picture, I knew that the curve was starting to affect her posture more and more. In January, the curve had progressed to 58 degrees.
Through it all, Cali has remained positive. She complains very little about the situation that she has been dealt. God has certainly blessed her though this. Despite having that curve in her back and constant back aches, she was the pitcher for her summer league softball team. They went undefeated and won the tournament. She led her team in goals scored this past year in soccer and she has been a member of several winning relays and won some individual events in swimming. God is good...even in the midst of a trial!
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Sunday, February 26, 2012
Our Scoliosis Journey in Pictures
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
What is Going On?
I woke up at 4am in a panic.
What in the world is going on? What am I doing? Is this real? Are we doing the right thing?
All of a sudden life seemed to be spinning VERY much out of control!
Yesterday I moved Cali's surgery up from May 21st to March 12.
March 12th!!!! That's like 19 days from today. YIKES!
Of course everything seems worse at 4 am but all of these thoughts and things that I need to do came pouring into my mind causing it to race.
I'm so thankful for today which is Wednesday. I have nothing on my schedule and I can get everything, well maybe not everything, but a lot of the things that were racing through my mind done. In fact, it's 10am and I have already gotten a lot of it done. I have notified her swim coach, I have sent an email to her teachers and I have called to get the ball rolling for her bloodwork.
Now if only my laundry would do itself and someone would go grocery shopping for me, I could take a nap to get back the sleep I lost tossing and turning over that stuff.
I still feel like I am in a haze though. I was so over this. I had given it to God and now all of the sudden I picture my baby girl lying on the operating table for four hours. And for what? And I know all the answers to the questions but it doesn't mean I don't question. It doesn't mean I understand.
Tell me we live in a sin fallen world. I know that. Tell me God will work this for good. I know that. It doesn't mean it makes sense to me. It doesn't mean I like it. I would take it from her in a heartbeat.
I was thinking today that someone once said that if you are not in a trial then you have either just left one or are about to go into another one. So true.
Another thing is, don't miss what God wants to teach you through this trial.
Wow!
I think back to where I was and how I was. I was just coasting. I was just mediocre. I had lost my fire, my passion. God got a hold of me through this and I never let go! I truly believe that He will get you where He wants you in His timing and in His way. We may not like it or understand, but it's best to just go with it and surrender because it's just going to be a battle otherwise.
Am I saying that God gave Cali scoliosis to punish me for my lack of fire? No. I think we do live in a sin fallen world and things happen. Illnesses happen. Scoliosis happens. But I do think that when we respond in faith and obedience then the trial seems so much more bearable. Like, I don't see how people go through hard times without God. Well, I have seen how they do and it's not good. There is no way we could get though this without understanding how God works.
Enough of the rambling. Time to get going on the laundry:)
What in the world is going on? What am I doing? Is this real? Are we doing the right thing?
All of a sudden life seemed to be spinning VERY much out of control!
Yesterday I moved Cali's surgery up from May 21st to March 12.
March 12th!!!! That's like 19 days from today. YIKES!
Of course everything seems worse at 4 am but all of these thoughts and things that I need to do came pouring into my mind causing it to race.
I'm so thankful for today which is Wednesday. I have nothing on my schedule and I can get everything, well maybe not everything, but a lot of the things that were racing through my mind done. In fact, it's 10am and I have already gotten a lot of it done. I have notified her swim coach, I have sent an email to her teachers and I have called to get the ball rolling for her bloodwork.
Now if only my laundry would do itself and someone would go grocery shopping for me, I could take a nap to get back the sleep I lost tossing and turning over that stuff.
I still feel like I am in a haze though. I was so over this. I had given it to God and now all of the sudden I picture my baby girl lying on the operating table for four hours. And for what? And I know all the answers to the questions but it doesn't mean I don't question. It doesn't mean I understand.
Tell me we live in a sin fallen world. I know that. Tell me God will work this for good. I know that. It doesn't mean it makes sense to me. It doesn't mean I like it. I would take it from her in a heartbeat.
I was thinking today that someone once said that if you are not in a trial then you have either just left one or are about to go into another one. So true.
Another thing is, don't miss what God wants to teach you through this trial.
Wow!
I think back to where I was and how I was. I was just coasting. I was just mediocre. I had lost my fire, my passion. God got a hold of me through this and I never let go! I truly believe that He will get you where He wants you in His timing and in His way. We may not like it or understand, but it's best to just go with it and surrender because it's just going to be a battle otherwise.
Am I saying that God gave Cali scoliosis to punish me for my lack of fire? No. I think we do live in a sin fallen world and things happen. Illnesses happen. Scoliosis happens. But I do think that when we respond in faith and obedience then the trial seems so much more bearable. Like, I don't see how people go through hard times without God. Well, I have seen how they do and it's not good. There is no way we could get though this without understanding how God works.
Enough of the rambling. Time to get going on the laundry:)
Monday, February 20, 2012
Notes taken...
Last week I jotted down a lot of notes that I couldn't wait to post on facebook or tweet. Well, life happened and that never happened. So here are some of my favorite notes taken from lectures at Faith:
1. We are who we are because we want what we want!
2. If a person is not broken, take them to pride and humility.
3. Be ready to be lied to! You are an instrument for God to use for them to get right with God. Don't be offended by their lies/deceit.
4. Doubt=Unbelief
5. Don't make not getting hurt a goal...that becomes an idol. Perfect love drives out fear 1 John 4:18
6. Divorce causes parents to shoot arrows at each other...right through the child.
7. The Holy Spirit is the Agent of Change. He is the Executive member of the Godhead. Needs to be present in the counselling room.
8. Ask the person, "would you do this with your wife/husband, kids present? Would you do it with your church watching? Why would you do it with God watching? He is EVERYWHERE and ALWAYS watching...Yikes!
9. We are to be the salt and the light. We are to be changing and growing and responding biblical. This speaks to unbelievers. People are watching. Live a Godly life.
10. The Holy Spirit never leads you contrary to God's word.
11. FLEE from sinful behavior or temptations...for example...no one ever committed adultery while RUNNING!
12. Sin doesn't justify our actions but it can explain it.
13. What if God treated you the way you treated your spouse or your kids or your parents...fill in the blank.
14. There is a plan behind what God does EVERY time!
15. Sin is not just an act, it's a process. How did you get there?
16. Your friends reveal your true character.
17. Don't bail your kids out. Make them learn responsibility.
18. A bad habit takes 6 weeks to break if we work on it EVERY day.
19. Children learn what they see practiced.
20. Our desires affect our relationships.
21. Anything you can be trained to do, you can be untrained to do. The hallmark of Christianity is CHANGE. Anyone who is a new creation...off with the old, on with new, put off old, put on new...
22. Make every spending ($) decision a spiritual one.
23. Avoid the seduction of greed. We are encouraged by our culture to be greedy and to worry. Worrying is incredibly unproductive.
24. Even if you have the $ to buy ________, should you really use the $ God entrusted you with to buy it. Look at the heart.
25. We are always on RED ALERT...against the devil, the world and the flesh.
26. You can't grow as a Christian on your own. This is a community project. Spur one another on!
27. Evangelize the lost. Disciple the believers.
28. The ungodly are watching and may be won over by your actions.
29. It's easy to love someone who is lovable but more challenging to love someone who is critical, sarcastic, mean, etc. Godly love never fails.
30. Faith and patience together inherit the promise. Its about God's timing. Growth and change take time.
31. Fruit of the spirit. Walk in it. Be controlled by it.
32. Be continually knocking...praying for God to change this person's heart.
33. Pride comes before destruction.
34. Does God come first only when He blesses you or at all times?
35. God can change anyone...you have to believe that!
36. Lack of accountability breeds mediocrity.
37. Debt is a cruel taskmaster. We become a slave to debt and become bitter about debt.
38. It's not our job to save our children. It's our job to be a faithful parent.
39. Romans 9...we sorrow for loved ones who don't know Christ.
40. Children cannot be the hub of your life. Children are spokes...not hubs.
41. If I am shocked and appalled by the behavior of my kids, then I am self-focused. Their sin is a log, my sin is a speck. Re-examine.
42. God is the perfect parent. He has had children and they have rebelled.
43. There are many faithful parents out there who are being judged by the actions of their kids.
44. We get defensive. We compare. We believe we are flawless. We get disgusted. We are self-focused.
45. There is no perfect family, no perfect kid out there. Don't compare!
46. We do not, by nature, drift toward Christ-likeness.
47. You have to have unhurried time alone with God.
48. Make people want what you have in Christ. More is caught than taught.
49. Don't just shoot up flare prayers (prayers sent up in the middle of a mess).
50. Teach people how to suffer well.
1. We are who we are because we want what we want!
2. If a person is not broken, take them to pride and humility.
3. Be ready to be lied to! You are an instrument for God to use for them to get right with God. Don't be offended by their lies/deceit.
4. Doubt=Unbelief
5. Don't make not getting hurt a goal...that becomes an idol. Perfect love drives out fear 1 John 4:18
6. Divorce causes parents to shoot arrows at each other...right through the child.
7. The Holy Spirit is the Agent of Change. He is the Executive member of the Godhead. Needs to be present in the counselling room.
8. Ask the person, "would you do this with your wife/husband, kids present? Would you do it with your church watching? Why would you do it with God watching? He is EVERYWHERE and ALWAYS watching...Yikes!
9. We are to be the salt and the light. We are to be changing and growing and responding biblical. This speaks to unbelievers. People are watching. Live a Godly life.
10. The Holy Spirit never leads you contrary to God's word.
11. FLEE from sinful behavior or temptations...for example...no one ever committed adultery while RUNNING!
12. Sin doesn't justify our actions but it can explain it.
13. What if God treated you the way you treated your spouse or your kids or your parents...fill in the blank.
14. There is a plan behind what God does EVERY time!
15. Sin is not just an act, it's a process. How did you get there?
16. Your friends reveal your true character.
17. Don't bail your kids out. Make them learn responsibility.
18. A bad habit takes 6 weeks to break if we work on it EVERY day.
19. Children learn what they see practiced.
20. Our desires affect our relationships.
21. Anything you can be trained to do, you can be untrained to do. The hallmark of Christianity is CHANGE. Anyone who is a new creation...off with the old, on with new, put off old, put on new...
22. Make every spending ($) decision a spiritual one.
23. Avoid the seduction of greed. We are encouraged by our culture to be greedy and to worry. Worrying is incredibly unproductive.
24. Even if you have the $ to buy ________, should you really use the $ God entrusted you with to buy it. Look at the heart.
25. We are always on RED ALERT...against the devil, the world and the flesh.
26. You can't grow as a Christian on your own. This is a community project. Spur one another on!
27. Evangelize the lost. Disciple the believers.
28. The ungodly are watching and may be won over by your actions.
29. It's easy to love someone who is lovable but more challenging to love someone who is critical, sarcastic, mean, etc. Godly love never fails.
30. Faith and patience together inherit the promise. Its about God's timing. Growth and change take time.
31. Fruit of the spirit. Walk in it. Be controlled by it.
32. Be continually knocking...praying for God to change this person's heart.
33. Pride comes before destruction.
34. Does God come first only when He blesses you or at all times?
35. God can change anyone...you have to believe that!
36. Lack of accountability breeds mediocrity.
37. Debt is a cruel taskmaster. We become a slave to debt and become bitter about debt.
38. It's not our job to save our children. It's our job to be a faithful parent.
39. Romans 9...we sorrow for loved ones who don't know Christ.
40. Children cannot be the hub of your life. Children are spokes...not hubs.
41. If I am shocked and appalled by the behavior of my kids, then I am self-focused. Their sin is a log, my sin is a speck. Re-examine.
42. God is the perfect parent. He has had children and they have rebelled.
43. There are many faithful parents out there who are being judged by the actions of their kids.
44. We get defensive. We compare. We believe we are flawless. We get disgusted. We are self-focused.
45. There is no perfect family, no perfect kid out there. Don't compare!
46. We do not, by nature, drift toward Christ-likeness.
47. You have to have unhurried time alone with God.
48. Make people want what you have in Christ. More is caught than taught.
49. Don't just shoot up flare prayers (prayers sent up in the middle of a mess).
50. Teach people how to suffer well.
What to do?
It's funny how things change. I used to love to sit down and write. It was like therapeutic to me. I could be anywhere and a "blog idea" would come to mind and I'd pull out whatever I had to write down the notes that came to mind. Now, I am forcing myself back to blogging. I want to be able to journal Cali's scoliosis journey but this sitting down and writing thing is just not jiving with me for some reason.
Today is President's Day. The kids have the day off but Brian does not. We have nothing on the agenda. It's nice. I wish we had every Monday off because Sundays are so busy for us. It was nice to not have basketball yesterday for the first time in awhile. I know Cam was loving the break.
Last week, Brian and I spent the week at Faith Church in Lafayette for counseling training. It was so good. The speakers were good and the topics were great. It was just the break that I needed from the real world as up there you are pretty much surrounded by all believers; people who are joyful and don't complain, people who are patient and not hateful or mean. Lots of encouragement, people treating one another kindly (holding doors for one another, waving others ahead for parking spaces, letting people go first in lunch line, etc.), people spoke to one another and smiled. It was just a good place.
I came back and went to Wal-Mart and knew I was back to reality. But I know, we are to go out and be the salt and the light.
I'm not sure if I have updated the latest on Cali. We have her surgery scheduled for May 21 (Brian's birthday). We are debating moving it up. School gets out May 25 and our thinking is that we don't want her to miss all of her summer and we want her to have a full three months to recover before she even tries to play soccer in the fall. If we move it up, she would have to miss more school but most cases we know about and have read about have been back to school within a month of surgery. I'm thinking Cali could handle doing a lot of work from home but I also don't want to stress her with school work. Another thing is softball. Brian is coaching and Cali is a pitcher but her back seems to be bothering her more and more lately so I don't know how that will go for her this season. So many decisions...seem like minor ones but at the same time they feel like big ones.
Timing is the biggest decision in this surgery. Making the decision the have the surgery was easy. Making the decision to discontinue chiropractic care brought peace to me. That made me uneasy (taking her every day...didn't feel like the right thing as I prayed about it.) But this timing thing...ugh! Just wish I could wake up and it be written on my mirror as to what to do!
Cali has a 58 degree curve and Dr. Didelot says there is a 90 percent chance that it will get worse. But he didn't say WHEN it might get worse. It has gotten 20 degrees worse in the last year so if it continues at that rate, then...well, that's not good. We don't want to wait too long. He says we don't have to rush into BUT if it gets worse then he will have to fuse down to L5 which will limit MUCH of her mobility. Right now, where she is, he only has to fuse down to L3. So my thinking is let's hurry up and get this done before it gets worse.
I just don't know. Seems like a lot of school to miss but if we miss that window and it does gets worse then what did we gain by moving it back to summer? A little more middle school education? Is that worth a lifetime of mobility? Just trying to work through my thoughts here.
So many what ifs and questions that I can't answer. No one can. We just have to make the call and go with it.
Getting back to writing...funny thing is that I used to proof read and care if it flowed and had proper grammar. Now I don't. Sorry if you do.
Guess I'm not doing it for the love of writing anymore...I'm praying for that to return.
Today is President's Day. The kids have the day off but Brian does not. We have nothing on the agenda. It's nice. I wish we had every Monday off because Sundays are so busy for us. It was nice to not have basketball yesterday for the first time in awhile. I know Cam was loving the break.
Last week, Brian and I spent the week at Faith Church in Lafayette for counseling training. It was so good. The speakers were good and the topics were great. It was just the break that I needed from the real world as up there you are pretty much surrounded by all believers; people who are joyful and don't complain, people who are patient and not hateful or mean. Lots of encouragement, people treating one another kindly (holding doors for one another, waving others ahead for parking spaces, letting people go first in lunch line, etc.), people spoke to one another and smiled. It was just a good place.
I came back and went to Wal-Mart and knew I was back to reality. But I know, we are to go out and be the salt and the light.
I'm not sure if I have updated the latest on Cali. We have her surgery scheduled for May 21 (Brian's birthday). We are debating moving it up. School gets out May 25 and our thinking is that we don't want her to miss all of her summer and we want her to have a full three months to recover before she even tries to play soccer in the fall. If we move it up, she would have to miss more school but most cases we know about and have read about have been back to school within a month of surgery. I'm thinking Cali could handle doing a lot of work from home but I also don't want to stress her with school work. Another thing is softball. Brian is coaching and Cali is a pitcher but her back seems to be bothering her more and more lately so I don't know how that will go for her this season. So many decisions...seem like minor ones but at the same time they feel like big ones.
Timing is the biggest decision in this surgery. Making the decision the have the surgery was easy. Making the decision to discontinue chiropractic care brought peace to me. That made me uneasy (taking her every day...didn't feel like the right thing as I prayed about it.) But this timing thing...ugh! Just wish I could wake up and it be written on my mirror as to what to do!
Cali has a 58 degree curve and Dr. Didelot says there is a 90 percent chance that it will get worse. But he didn't say WHEN it might get worse. It has gotten 20 degrees worse in the last year so if it continues at that rate, then...well, that's not good. We don't want to wait too long. He says we don't have to rush into BUT if it gets worse then he will have to fuse down to L5 which will limit MUCH of her mobility. Right now, where she is, he only has to fuse down to L3. So my thinking is let's hurry up and get this done before it gets worse.
I just don't know. Seems like a lot of school to miss but if we miss that window and it does gets worse then what did we gain by moving it back to summer? A little more middle school education? Is that worth a lifetime of mobility? Just trying to work through my thoughts here.
So many what ifs and questions that I can't answer. No one can. We just have to make the call and go with it.
Getting back to writing...funny thing is that I used to proof read and care if it flowed and had proper grammar. Now I don't. Sorry if you do.
Guess I'm not doing it for the love of writing anymore...I'm praying for that to return.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Sinking In
Well it has been almost a week now. I think it is finally starting to sink in.
Cali's curve was at 57 degrees last week and we are now facing surgery.
We have been on a rollercoaster of emotions but I think we are finally all good now. So many questions without answers. So many unknowns, what ifs, how will we do this, when and so on but things are coming together.
Yesterday I alerted her teachers.I have heard back from two at this point but we are shooting for a mid May date. Dr. Didelot said she will be in the hospital for one week and then on bed rest for 6 weeks. Three months post-op, he was optimistic that she would be back to her normal physical activities.
Cali's curve was at 57 degrees last week and we are now facing surgery.
We have been on a rollercoaster of emotions but I think we are finally all good now. So many questions without answers. So many unknowns, what ifs, how will we do this, when and so on but things are coming together.
Yesterday I alerted her teachers.I have heard back from two at this point but we are shooting for a mid May date. Dr. Didelot said she will be in the hospital for one week and then on bed rest for 6 weeks. Three months post-op, he was optimistic that she would be back to her normal physical activities.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Less than 55, please!
My jaws hurt. My head hurts. I'm guessing because I have been clenching my jaws all day. Thankfully today is Wednesday...a day that I'm home alone. I did nine loads of laundry today. I sat with the blinds down in the silence for awhile. When I got tired of that, I turned my music up as loud as I could. So tonight I sit in a somewhat clean house with all of my laundry done. Meetings are over and weather has cancelled any plans that I had for tonight. Tonight I will just sit.
About a year ago at Christmas we were sitting on the beach in Sanibel Island, Florida and noticed that something wasn't quite right with Cali's posture. Sure enough after taking her to the doctor, she was diagnosed with scoliosis. She had a 38 degree lumbar curve.
Fast forward 6 months. After wearing her brace faithfully, we went in for a check up. Dr. Didelot asks, "do you think she is better or worse?" I thought she was better but she was actually 10 degrees worse. He said that if she got to 55 then he would want to do surgery...and he went on to say that if he had to do surgery, we wouldn't be too happy because he would have to fuse L4 and L5 and that would limit mobility.
I remember at that moment just freezing and thinking, NOOOOO! As much as I want my baby girl to have that perfectly straight spine, the thought of not being able to watch her play soccer or any other sport killed me. So my question to him was, "what can we do?" He gave us some exercises and wrote a prescription for physical therapy telling us that core strengthening would be great for her.
I had never been to a chiropractor but my friend, Teresa told me a story about someone who took their daughter with scoliosis to one and it helped. I thought, at this point, we are going to try everything we can so we can't say that we didn't do everything possible.
But we didn't want to take Cali to just anyone so we decided to drive her to Avon to JC Anderson. We used to go to church with him and we knew that we could trust him to give Cali the very best care and we knew that if he didn't think it would work then he would tell us that we were wasting our time. So once a week, we drove to Avon for Cali to be adjusted and rolled out.
Due to location and our schedule, we have opted to see a chiropractor here closer to home but still great care. Hoping and praying that being proactive will be a good thing come tomorrow morning.
I have been flooded with verses and song lyrics over the past couple of days that remind me that God is right here with us.
Jesus said, "Don't be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed." Luke 8:50
"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." Luke 22:42
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kids, because you know that the testing of your faith develops pereverance. James 1:2-3
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-10
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against?
I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
God You know where I've been
And You were there with me then
You were faithful before You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand
I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need
About a year ago at Christmas we were sitting on the beach in Sanibel Island, Florida and noticed that something wasn't quite right with Cali's posture. Sure enough after taking her to the doctor, she was diagnosed with scoliosis. She had a 38 degree lumbar curve.
Fast forward 6 months. After wearing her brace faithfully, we went in for a check up. Dr. Didelot asks, "do you think she is better or worse?" I thought she was better but she was actually 10 degrees worse. He said that if she got to 55 then he would want to do surgery...and he went on to say that if he had to do surgery, we wouldn't be too happy because he would have to fuse L4 and L5 and that would limit mobility.
I remember at that moment just freezing and thinking, NOOOOO! As much as I want my baby girl to have that perfectly straight spine, the thought of not being able to watch her play soccer or any other sport killed me. So my question to him was, "what can we do?" He gave us some exercises and wrote a prescription for physical therapy telling us that core strengthening would be great for her.
I had never been to a chiropractor but my friend, Teresa told me a story about someone who took their daughter with scoliosis to one and it helped. I thought, at this point, we are going to try everything we can so we can't say that we didn't do everything possible.
But we didn't want to take Cali to just anyone so we decided to drive her to Avon to JC Anderson. We used to go to church with him and we knew that we could trust him to give Cali the very best care and we knew that if he didn't think it would work then he would tell us that we were wasting our time. So once a week, we drove to Avon for Cali to be adjusted and rolled out.
Due to location and our schedule, we have opted to see a chiropractor here closer to home but still great care. Hoping and praying that being proactive will be a good thing come tomorrow morning.
I have been flooded with verses and song lyrics over the past couple of days that remind me that God is right here with us.
Jesus said, "Don't be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed." Luke 8:50
"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." Luke 22:42
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kids, because you know that the testing of your faith develops pereverance. James 1:2-3
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-10
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against?
I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
God You know where I've been
And You were there with me then
You were faithful before You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand
I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Love, Love, Love!
Today we were challenged with the Great Commission...GO and make disciples! This verse in the Bible negates the old saying of "mama always said, there are two things you never talk about: politics and religion." Actually, the Great Commission has nothing to do with politics and truthfully I don't want to hear about or talk about politics but it has everything to do about religion...well, not just religion but a relationship...a relationship with the one and only one who can change your life.
We know it says "make disciples" and we know we are to be disciples but what does that look like? How do people know you are a follower of Jesus?
We had this discussion a few weeks ago during a small group. The first thing that came to my mind was Galatians 5:22...the fruits of the spirit. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness and Self-Control...do I have these? For sure I'm not perfect but am I working on them? I think so and if not then I would have to question, am I really saved? Am I really being controlled by the Holy Spirit or am I still in the flesh?
For sure we all stumble and the walk of a Christian is not one of once you get it, you "arrive". It's one of ups and downs. We grow, we learn but it's not always easy.
Another verse that came to mind during our, "how do people know you love Jesus?" discussion was the love chapter: Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
When I go through these verses, I have to ask myself, "do I show that kind of love?" And if not, why? Because I am supposed to if I claim to be a follower of Jesus. It's so not easy but we are told to LOVE, LOVE AND LOVE! Love God and love others...love them in the ways above. Should be easy but isn't when you often encounter grouchy, impatient, complaining, selfish, I could go on and on...people all of the time. Gotta love them anyway...show them the love that can only be shown by knowing Jesus...Otherwise I am just lukewarm...
Another conversation that we have had...we are reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan and Chapter 4 is on being lukewarm. God wants us to be completely HOT, ALL-IN for him. He would rather us be cold or not on board this "Jesus boat" at all than be lukewarm. It has been very challenging and the thing that I have been challenged with the most is loving people. Let me rephrase that...loving difficult people. Truthfully, I would rather avoid them. I don't like to hear complaining, I don't to be around people who are grouchy or who are going to bring me down, rob my joy. I don't like fakers...either you are all in or not. I don't like people who are selfish are just out for themselves. I tend to see right through people.
With that said, I know it is something I need to work on. Looking back at Galatians 5:22 and 1 Cor 13:4, I need to remember patience and kindness when dealing with these types. I need to not get irritable.
So my goal for this next year is to love the difficult to love people that come my way. Never a better time to start than now, right? Shed the old and put on the new!
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17
We know it says "make disciples" and we know we are to be disciples but what does that look like? How do people know you are a follower of Jesus?
We had this discussion a few weeks ago during a small group. The first thing that came to my mind was Galatians 5:22...the fruits of the spirit. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness and Self-Control...do I have these? For sure I'm not perfect but am I working on them? I think so and if not then I would have to question, am I really saved? Am I really being controlled by the Holy Spirit or am I still in the flesh?
For sure we all stumble and the walk of a Christian is not one of once you get it, you "arrive". It's one of ups and downs. We grow, we learn but it's not always easy.
Another verse that came to mind during our, "how do people know you love Jesus?" discussion was the love chapter: Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
When I go through these verses, I have to ask myself, "do I show that kind of love?" And if not, why? Because I am supposed to if I claim to be a follower of Jesus. It's so not easy but we are told to LOVE, LOVE AND LOVE! Love God and love others...love them in the ways above. Should be easy but isn't when you often encounter grouchy, impatient, complaining, selfish, I could go on and on...people all of the time. Gotta love them anyway...show them the love that can only be shown by knowing Jesus...Otherwise I am just lukewarm...
Another conversation that we have had...we are reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan and Chapter 4 is on being lukewarm. God wants us to be completely HOT, ALL-IN for him. He would rather us be cold or not on board this "Jesus boat" at all than be lukewarm. It has been very challenging and the thing that I have been challenged with the most is loving people. Let me rephrase that...loving difficult people. Truthfully, I would rather avoid them. I don't like to hear complaining, I don't to be around people who are grouchy or who are going to bring me down, rob my joy. I don't like fakers...either you are all in or not. I don't like people who are selfish are just out for themselves. I tend to see right through people.
With that said, I know it is something I need to work on. Looking back at Galatians 5:22 and 1 Cor 13:4, I need to remember patience and kindness when dealing with these types. I need to not get irritable.
So my goal for this next year is to love the difficult to love people that come my way. Never a better time to start than now, right? Shed the old and put on the new!
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17
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