What is God doing in your life?

Last night we had dinner with a friend who had lost her husband suddenly, 3 years ago to the day.  One of the way we remembered him was by going around and answering the question he often asked:  What is God doing in your life?

God is always doing something but I wasn't sure how to answer this.  For sure I can feel God giving me a hunger to learn and grow.  I love reading and learning about how to become more Christ-like. 

Lately I have had a stirring about what am I doing and how am I reaching out to those in need and am I where God wants me?  Last night, a friend talked about being in a safe bubble and surrounded by people of like values and feeling the need to get out of that bubble.  This challenged me.

Yes, I need to work on myself and at the end of my life, when all is said and done, I have to answer for and be accountable for my words and actions but at the same time, I may be accountable for what I didn't say and do.

Life is pretty good right now.  I'm pretty comfortable.  I make it my goal daily for my thoughts, words and actions to be pleasing to God.   I've got my friends that I hang with and work with and they all have the same values that we have (for the most part).  Why would I ever want to get out of that bubble?

This song comes to mind:
What if there’s a bigger picture?
What if I’m missing out?
What if there’s a greater purpose
That I could be living right now
I don't wanna miss what matters
I wanna be reaching out
Show me the greater purpose
So I can start living right now
Outside my own little world

What if?

 

Summer Recap

This week we are on what I would call a much deserved vacation.  It's been a busy year for us.  It's been an unusual year for us.   Let's just say this:  almost every day we get a medical bill in the mail.

Let's recap:
March-Cali's surgery for scoliosis
April-my bout with kidney stones began
May-Cameron broke his arm
June-my surgery to remove a 9mm stone
July-Christen had her palatial expander put in
and today starts August-Cam goes in for an echocardiogam for his heart murmur.

But amazingly, it has been a great summer.  We just put in a pool and will add a deck and landscaping to hopefully make our backyard our summer retreat.  We opted for a pool rather than a vacation figuring we will get many years of enjoyment out of it.  Already it has been full and heavily used and it has only been in a week.  It was quite an ordeal to put in though.

It was supposed to go in July 3rd but the stump wasn't ground down far enough.  So a week later they came back.  Where the stump had been ground down, it was too soft.  So we had to firm it up by watering the ground.  Finally, they were able to put it in.  But then because we were filling it with our hose, it took nearly 5 days to fill.  And then the work began...lots and lots of dirt and sand to move.  But with a little help from our friends, we got it all moved.

Summer sports are over and fall sports are about to begin.  Christen played baseball, Cam played baseball and Cali is still recovering...no sports for her this summer.

Christen did well at baseball.  I just never know about her because she is such a girly girl but whatever she does, she goes out there and plays and does a pretty good job.  She hit the ball and even caught a fly ball which is a huge thing for her league.  She also went to a gymnastics camp.  That seems to be her love right now so we are anxious for fall so she can sign up for some classes.

Cam loved baseball this year.  A lot of that had to do with Kevin Kellerman coaching him.  He loves Coach K.  He also went to basketball camp and played up with the 7th graders in a summer league.  He just goes all out at whatever he does.  But he likes for the seasons to end.  He's not a year rounder of any sport.  So now it is football season and he's so excited.  He loves football!  He goes to Tuttle this year and he can't wait!

Cali is doing well.  She still hurts quite a bit and is limited on her activities.  She did go to soccer camp and volleyball camp this summer and did ok but she is not yet released to play soccer (or any contact sports) so she is leaning toward playing volleyball just for her 8th grade year.  Other than the two camps, she has had a pretty laid back summer...just taking it easy.  She has definitely earned it!

Brian and I are same old, same old...work, church, running around and coaching kids.  Busy busy!

Enough Already

Cam broke his arm.  I just got rid of a kidney infection which was the worst pain I have been in since childbirth and Christen has to get braces. 

Uggh.  Enough already!

I know the routine.  I know the verses.  I have the songs for trials on my ipod.  I know we will get through them.  We always do and we always look back and see how God carried us through but gee wiz...can we please stop going through these storms?  Are we not learning what we are supposed to be learning?

Funny thing, before we found out Cam's arm was broken I told Brian that I felt like God was telling us that if we weren't going to slow down then He would do it for us.

It may be a very slow, relaxing and restful summer.

We shall see what the summer holds this afternoon.  All I know is that I am worn out!!!!!!!!!!!!

Letting go all over again

This morning I'm feeling a little sad, a little weepy.  I wasn't prepared for this feeling.  Today I feel like I just sent my baby to kindergarten for the first time.  My heart broke a little.  It hurt a little.  I had to hide tears this morning.

This morning I sent Cali back to school for the first time since she had surgery four weeks ago today!  She has healed remarkably, beautifully I might add.  As I looked at her in the mirror as she got ready this morning, she looks like a different person.  Not only does she have a straight back now, she stretched up and lost weight.  She looks older, more mature.  The chubby cheeks are gone and now she looks like a young lady.  In four weeks, my chubby cheeked little girl has transformed into a young lady!!!

So now, I wait by the phone.  Will she make it through the day?  Will she be ok?  What if she gets tired?  What if she gets sore?  What if someone jumps on her or smacks her on the back?  Ohhhhh, I am a little hesitant to let her go.  We have grown so close during this.  I'm gonna miss her.  But now it's time to move on...on to healing, complete healing.

The other day, I was thinking about a playlist that I had made.  They were songs of hope that I listened to before the surgery to encourage me; songs that said, "you will make it through this storm!"  As I think back, I can remember some dark moments and some hard times and thinking thoughts like, "why my daughter?"  and "I just want this to be over!"  Now when I hear one of those songs, I can smile and know that God is faithful.  He carried us through the storm.

Looking back I can fully see that God was with us all the way through it even though sometimes I doubted or questioned.  Looking back, I can fully see the truth in Romans 8:28 that all things work for the good of those who love Him...and even more so in Ephesians 3:20 God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!  I love the Message version of that verse. 

God did far more...He brought us a great doctor.  Surgery went well, healing has been good.  Her back was straightened even more than they thought it would be and I can't even begin to tell you how blessed we have been by friends and family...WOW!  It has grown us, made us stronger for sure!

This morning as I was driving Cali to school, the song Find Your Wings came to my mind...

It's only for a moment you are mine to hold
The plans that heaven has for you
Will all too soon unfold
So many different prayers
I'll pray For all that you might do
But most of all I'll want to know
You're walking in the truth
And If I never told you
I want you to know
As I watch you grow  
I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you
Find Your Wings 
May passion be the wind
That leads you through your days
And may conviction keep you strong
Guide you on your way
May there be many moments
That make your life so sweet
Oh, but more than memories   
It's not living if you don't reach for the sky
I'll have tears as you take off
But I'll cheer as you fly 

and that pretty much sums it up.

Cali's Scoliosis Journey

Over the Hump?

We are getting there.  A couple of days ago, I would have told you that I didn't know if we were ever going to get over that hump...and then yesterday, I THINK we did.

She had a really good day yesterday.  She laughed a lot, smiled a lot.  She was awake more than she was asleep.  She actually wanted to take a shower rather than me forcing her.  She was still tired and didn't have a lot of energy as far as walking long distances but she did better than the days before.

It still hurts to walk and stand and sit but seemingly less and less every day.  The most comfortable position is still lying down.  We just have to keep pushing her through it.

We changed her pain meds up a bit so now she only gets one pill during the day and two at night but she can supplement the one with Advil.  That seemed to help her stay awake longer, it helped her appetite and it helped to get her systems moving again if you know what I mean:)  She felt like a new person yesterday and she acted like one too!  It was awesome to see the old Cali coming back.  Not once yesterday did she mention that she wanted to die...that's how bad the pain has been in the past few days:(

So now we focus on the healing.  She has an 18 inch scar down her back...I think we will call it a beauty mark.  She has to learn how to walk with her new posture.  She is taller and thinner. 

Hopefully today is another good day:)

Two Things

Two things came to my mind this morning.  I love how God does it too.  He knows I don't have the verses memorized but I can keep the little snippets in my head long enough to make it to Biblegateway keyword look up.

First was:  count it all as loss
Second was:  confident

It's funny because as soon as I see the verse, it hits me.  Like there may be 50 verses that have the word confident in it but there is always one that jumps out at me.

So first, Philippians 3:8 What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ .

This is when Paul talks about trials and giving up a lot for the sake of knowing Christ.  I often ask myself, would I have changed this trial that we just went through?  Well, yeah, but the growth that took place, the way God drew me in closer and made me rely in Him...I don't think so.  He would have had to have used some way to reel me in and I'm sorry it had to be Cali but James 1:2-3 is so true.  Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  And we will persevere through this...stronger than before!

Second, confident...maybe Philippians 1:6 came to mind for another reason but it says, And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. I know that God has big plans for Cali.  I know that this is just a little blip on the radar.  God's got His hand on her.

It's all going to be OK because...And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.  For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. Romans 8:28-29