So How's It Going?

That seems to be the question everyone has been asking me. How's the job change going? How's your summer going?

It's going.

Things have been interesting around here this summer to say the least. I haven't blogged for awhile and there's a reason for that.

We have had a bit of a rebellious summer and then it turned into a wall building summer and now that we are getting the hang of things, we are tearing down the walls and becoming more normal again. Let me try to explain...

I think it all started with us seeing a rebellious attitude in Cameron. He was talking back to us. He was not being kind. He would not shake hands with kids on the ball field when they hit a homerun or had a nice play. He actually threw his helmet after getting thrown out one game. Brian had to pull him from the game and sit him on the bench and well...you can imagine the scolding he got! We knew he disliked baseball but this attitude of rebellion carried on beyond the baseball field.

When we got to Proverbs in our reading through the Bible in a year, I made Cali and Cam join me because a lot of Proverbs is about discipline and listening to your parents. About that time too, baseball was over for Cam and he became a different kid or at least reverted back to the same kid that he was before. The rebel was gone. So while I am thankful that baseball is over, I am even more thankful for the power in God's word!

But there were still more rebels in the house to deal with...Brian and me. I don't know that it was so much that we were rebelling but it felt as though we were dealing with a lot of stuff and not necessarily wanting to always deal with it God's way. The funny thing is, neither one of us knew that the other was dealing with it until we were talking. I told him that I felt like I was pushing God away at a time when I should feel closest to him. I felt like all of these things, situations, feelings were coming my way and I wasn't necessarily always thinking in a Godly manner.

I say nothing major, but for instance, I'd be driving down the road and I'm not kidding...everytime, the slowest people would be driving right in front of me or cut me off. Instead of reacting with the biblical response of patience, I'd be impatient and spout off something which is something I haven't done in years! But I'm not kidding, it was everytime I got out on the road...slow people, bad drivers:) And then in stores, I'd get in the slowest lanes with needy people or whining people and my response would be more like, "Oh for the love of Pete, get over it and move on!" rather than the biblical response of love, patience and self-control and prayer.

What in the world was going on with me? I had just become a pastor's wife and I was turning into Satan!

I had no desire to read my Bible, do my devotions, be around people...anything!

I found myself building up walls to keep people out. I didn't want to talk to people and didn't want people talking to me. I only wanted to be with my family.

This wall building started the week after we started counseling training. We sat in on actual counseling cases and I think that I was so burdened by some of the cases that I carried those wtih me. I thought of those people who poured out their hearts and I thought to myself, I don't know them or their families but how am I going to feel when I DO know the counselees and their families because there will come a time when I will. That thought kind of overwhelmed me. So in my worldly way of thinking, I built up some walls to keep people away. Some fine counselor I'll be, huh?

Well, then a song came to my mind...
Im in a fight not physical,
Im in a war but not with this world

I was in a fight with Satan. He was doing everything he could to keep me from doing good. And I was falling for it. I was giving in. I was battling spiritual warfare. It was intense! My friend Kelly Stanley, had sent me a devotion telling me that devils would come my way with this new role. Boy was she ever right!

The song goes on to say...
You are the light that is beautiful,
And I want more,
I want all that is yours

Joy unspeakable that won't go away,
And just enough strength to live for today,
So I never have to worry what tomorrow will bring
'Cause my faith is on solid rock,
I am counting on God

That is what got me through it. Everytime one of those devils got in my way, I'd sing that song and know that I had to count on God.

And what I saw happen was amazing, the walls came tumbling down, I realized that I didn't have to carry the burdens of those counselees or any that might come my way in the future...
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power

God is big enough, strong enough, powerful enough and willing to carrying them all! I just had to make sure I didn't try to carry them and remember to give them to Him.

I also saw that dealing with the annoying things in life became easier because I put God back in the drivers seat so to speak. I had given the devil a foothold and boy is he powerful. But God is
so much more powerful and it is so much better to do good!

With that said, I feel as though I'm back and ready to attack anything that comes my way. I know it's not going to be easy and it's not always going to be fun or pleasant but there is so much joy that comes with being obedient to God and His word.

So how's it going? It's going great!