I have been subbing a couple days a week recently and have found that my favorite place to be is Tuttle. That just happens to be where Cali goes to school. Brian teases me and says that he thinks that if I could be a middle schooler again, I would.
I don't know about that but there is something quite intriguing about that age. It is full of drama, that's for sure! I loved my years at Tuttle and while they were full of ups and downs with emotions and hormones and all of that involved with becoming a teenager, I had a good time during those years.
It's during those years that kids really seem to figure out who they are. It's during that time when they decide which path they are going to take. It's during those years that boys and girls turn into young men and women. It's also during this time that they no longer find the opposite sex "yucky".
It's during this time that tweens want the most independence but it's when they need the most guidance! They think they know everything and they think they can get away with some things but they forget one thing...mom and dad have been in their shoes.
Therefore, we are going to be there to help them make some decisions. We are going to put limits on them and they are not going to like it. It's all coming back to me now...I can hear my parents now, "we are only doing this because we love you." Some of those things you don't get until you have kids and so I know my kids, particularly my little Cali right now, won't get until she has a tween of her own.
It's a scary world out there, that middle school atmosphere! Peer pressure is a powerful force. And kids aren't necessarily encouraging one another to do what I would call "good" things.
Recently, I felt like I needed to reign Cali in and make sure she knew what our expectations were of her. Her grades were good...All A's first 9 weeks but how were her relationships with others?
We started reading a book together called, A Young Woman's Guide to Making Right Choices-Your Life God's Way by Elizabeth George. My main intent in doing this with her was to make sure that she is being a good girl.
What does that mean? Most people looking in from the outside would say, "of course she is being a good girl, she always is." But when we did a check, she was pretty convicted and had the desire to fix some things in her life.
We jumped around and started with the chapters on friendships and relationships. She is blessed to have so many Christian friends. She really does have good friends who I have no doubt would do anything for her. She hasn't had any drama this year to speak of. It has just been a really good year. She has several friends who give her good advice and hold her accountable. We talked about steering clear of those friendships who tried to talk her into doing something that went against her morals and values or they themselves were immoral perhaps in their language or actions.
And as far as the boys go, there is a "no going out on dates one on one rule" in the Saunders home however we know that she is going to develop feelings for boys and vice versa but there are certain qualities that we want her to look for. This book lists them...
1. Godly-look for a guy with a passion for Jesus.
2. Diligent-look for a guy who's a hard worker.
3. Friendly-look for a guy who will be your best friend.
4. Merciful-look for a guy with compassion for others.
5. Encouraging-look for a guy who contributes positively to your growth (in spiritual matters, character development, educational and personal interests).
6. Generous-look for a guy with a giving heart.
7. Kind-look for a guy with a kind heart.
8. Discreet-look for a guy who will protect your reputation.
9. Faithful-look for a guy who keeps his word.
As we have talked about purity, she has learned that it is not only sexual purity that she has to guard against. Life is full of temptation and the target is always going to be her purity, whether it be ethical (lying, cheating), mental (bad thoughts), spiritual or physical/sexual purity. Satan is always out there to try to rob it!
She must put on her full armor of God and flee!
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying she can't have fun. I'm just saying she has to stay alert!
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