"I am God. You are not."

That's what I keep hearing God say to me as I battle with the things that I cannot control.

We were able to get away these last days of December. We have not had a vacation since October of 2009, even so much as a Holiday World get away so this was much overdue. Granted, we have had a lot going on...a job change, a move, among other things that have kept us from going anywhere. My point is: WE NEEDED A VACATION!

So here we sit in South Florida. The weather has been great. Our condo is free. Who could ask for anything more? I even got to do a little Christmas shopping at a Target with palm trees! Yeah, it was a little slice of heaven!

We have even commented on how it doesn't really seem like Christmas down here because people don't seem all crazy about gift buying. The stores aren't packed. There's no hustle and bustle. The beaches are packed with families and we have just been focusing on us as a family. It's been nice. Real nice. We have seen decorations and heard Christmas music but it's different. Or maybe our focus is different, I don't know...

But there is always something to bring you back to reality.

Our first day on the beach, the kids were building sand castles and Brian noticed that Cali's hips were a little uneven. I wouldn't have noticed it if he hadn't pointed it out but that lead us down the path of wondering, could it be scoliosis? From that point, your mind goes everywhere...from the worst case scenario to, "oh, it's probably nothing...probably just an uneven growth spurt."

Whatever the case, I know that as much as I would like for it not to be my Cali, it is and it is completely out of my control.

Metaphorically, I have been on my knees praying, pleading with God and I am comforted by those same promises that we tell our counselees.

James 1:2 Consider in pure joy...
1 Cor 10:13 No temptation has seized...
Romans 8:28 All...ALL things work for the good...
Romans 5:3 Rejoice in your sufferings...

and so on...

Same thing with my dad. It kills me. Absolutely KILLS me to see him walk with so much pain. I hate it. HATE it! But I can't do a doggone thing about it except turn to my God and pray for him; pray that God provides an answer and healing and know that he (God) is in control and knows what he is doing.

I think of the song by Casting Crowns...If We Ever Needed You, Lord It's Now. That's the song that is ringing in my head. That is my prayer as I surrender everything to the God who is, because I am not.