In December, we headed to Florida for a relaxing get away and it turned out to be quite a life changing experience! We needed a break from all of the hustle and bustle. We run and run and run all of the time and quite honestly, we were exhausted! We were too tired to even go Christmas shopping. We just wanted to get away. Our plan was to just get away to the sunshine state and just spend some time together. No practices, no games, no distractions, no schedule...just us.
The first few days were great. The weather was nice and warm. Our set up was perfect as the condo was free. We had kept it a surprise for the kids so that was exciting and the trip to Disney was still to come. What could go wrong?
I'll never forget that vacation! It was such a defining moment for me. I can point to so much that happened on that vacation and say, "that was all God..."
Wow! Not understanding it at the time but looking back, I see! And I still don't like everything that I have been dealt, but I get it and I'm on the right track and I see how God has worked everything out and is continuing to work everything out.
So looking back, this is what I remember and this is where we are today:
- I remember that moment on Sanibel Island where we first noticed Cali's back. It made me sick to my stomach to look at it. It made me sick to think about what might be, what could happen, etc. Could she end up "deformed"? Could she have to have surgery? I just remember worry CONSUMING me and I totally didn't trust that God would take care of this and I was really questioning God...why Cali? why not me? And then we had to go through the rest of the vacation not knowing. Not fun. Thought about it day and night.
- And then there was my dad...he could barely walk. He was in pain and stumbling and there was not a single thing I could do to help him. Just pray.
Of course, he didn't answer me in a way that I could hear but I knew that I had drifted away from him in my busyness. I knew that I had put God toward the bottom of my to-do list. I just wasn't making time for him and his word like I used to. It wasn't a priority for me anymore. And it showed by the way I was handling my trials.
So the next morning I woke up early, I opened up my Bible and just read...nothing in particular, just read. And then I prayed about my dad and Cali. It was that morning that God put the idea to push Dr. Mathison on getting my dad into see Dr. Gorup. And he did. And he has already had surgery and he is feeling better and is doing physical therapy. He is on his way to healing and I have seen so much joy restored in him.
And Cali, we don't know if she is getting better yet but I know that this trial is making us rely on God because the only way this is going to be fixed is by way of a miracle...aka God.
This year we are reading through the Bible again but we could opt to read through the New Testament only, if we struggled with reading the whole thing last year...that was me. But the New Testament reading plan was doable for me and I vowed to stick with it. I have and I will. Every morning, I do my reading and I read my Proverbs 31 devotion. I am amazed at how much better I am in dealing with these trials. I am so happy to be back knowing that I may fail or falter again but knowing that God always takes me back...no matter what.
Like I said, a lot has happened in the last three months...Brian has even been to Israel and back! This year our church is doing the year of prayer and we were to come up with "impossible prayers". So our family came up with prayers and wrote them out and Brian tucked them in the Western Wall in Jerusalem. My prayers focused on healing (for lots of people) but that word encompasses so much. In my Bible reading, I am just through Matthew and getting into Mark...there are so many stories of healing. Coincidence? I think not:) One of my prayers was for my migraines to end...I can't even tell you the last time I had one. I have had starts of them which, usually when I feel that, they come on, but it's as though they are being blocked...and then they go away. It is a strange feeling. And, to see the healing in my dad...awesome. I can't wait to see what God does with Cali...until then, we will lean on him and trust him!
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